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Proving once again that it doesn't have to look good to taste good, plenty of revolting and unsightly cakes abound.  Adding insult to injury, we have also uncovered a myriad of cake toppers that defy description.  We don't know how guests can stomach some of these creations, but we hope you can, long enough to get a good look at what NOT to do.


   Cakes      Cake Toppers    

This page last updated 12/17/03




Our cake is so bright, we gotta wear shades!

This was a perfectly good cake, until some florist ran amuck!

There's a cake under here somewhere.  
I'm sure of it.

This cake is being swarmed by locusts.

This cake vaguely resembles plastic.

Ummmm... ew?  This doesn't even LOOK good!

Again.  Garden party yes.  Wedding no.

MAYBE for a little girl's tea party. DEFINITELY not for a wedding.

Florists are for flowers, cakes are for bakers. They are NOT interchangeable.

If we get lucky, the candles will melt it down soon.

Flower OVERpower!

I have an idea - let's spear a cake with some bamboo poles and shove some flowers on there.

C is for CORNY

Still working on what that stuff is around the bottom?  Any guesses?

Stargazer lilies STINK and shed pollen everywhere.  What would possess someone to put them on a cake???

I REALLY don't think there's enough flowers on this cake.  What do you think?

Well, we have framed photos everywhere else.  Might as well put some on the cake. 

This cake burst into flames when someone put that silly Mickey Mouse thing on there.

Not sure what to make of this...

This probably cost them a lot of money.  There should be a law against such things.

The vertical stripes are very slimming.  But who wants to eat GREEN cake?

Heck of a concept..... 

This combines the best of both worlds - your wedding cake AND the centerpieces.

Would you like some fish juice with your cake or perhaps a side of suffocated guppy?

All I can say is I hope no one drops
 a REAL fish in this fountain.

This cake SCREAMS, "I am a self-centered, high maintenance bride"

Yes, why have a perfectly lovely photo when you can crap it up with a PURPLE fountain?

God bless their tacky little hearts.

What is it with these people and their fountains?

Look!  A giant spider crapped out a cake! 

Lady Luck did not smile on the couple choosing this cake.

OMG!  Someone CRAPPED on the cake!

This one is silly 

Puke brown?  When did that become a good choice for a wedding cake? 

Some Red Dye #5, a couple gold doilies and you're all set with a ..... a...... a.....
wedding cake?

This is what happens when you attempt to make a cake with Day-glo Play doh.

Be careful!  Someone could chip a tooth, or mistake this for a patio table.

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz,
Oh what a silly cake this is.

Sweet Sixteen, not marital bliss.

At least I think this is a cake.

Well, this is certainly morbid.

This cake is trying to escape



Please tell me this was the trial run.

In a word - hideous.

I can't decide which is worse - the cake or the picture. 

Shake Shake Shake! Shake Shake Shake! 
Shake you BOU-QUET! Shake your BOU-QUET! (All over the cake)

Some people just don't know when to quit. 

This is what's left of a groom's cake.

I believe they're going to have a sťance after the cake cutting.

You did, but probably shouldn't have.


This one is out there.... out there on the lawn. 

The big cake is shooting out tentacle to gobble up the little cakes.

Let's make a mockery of marriage at our WEDDING!!! 



Cake Toppers


Nothing says love like plastic action figures on your wedding cake.

Someone paid money for this.

Taking tackiness to new levels... 


These two are a step away from beating the hell out of each other.

They probably thought they were being cute when they picked this topper.

Two words .... GROW UP!!!

This one scared the bejesus outta me.

Welcome to the 1970s!


With a little glue, some Styrofoam balls and a pair of Popsicle sticks, anything is possible.

Ahhhh, to be young and in love!



Is this a wedding or a county fair?

Ummmmm.... Woof woof?





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